Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
