I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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