we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize