I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
