yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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