good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
