what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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