We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Actions speak louder than pants.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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