I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
