It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
