if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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