Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
