I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
