Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
