can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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