My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
