i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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