my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
