ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize