problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
