i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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