And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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