dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
