I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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