I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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