I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
