i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
