i just wanna soil my oats bro
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
