It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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