He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
