God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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