it was like his penis was on wheels.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
