Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize