I want to walk on stilts...naked
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
