It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize