Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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