shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize