the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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