I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
