all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
