doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
