so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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