The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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