I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
They have beer where we have blood.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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