Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You're a waste of cheezeits
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
