I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
