No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
