Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
