I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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