Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
