Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
