I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
