I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
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