i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
