ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
