Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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