Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
