He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize