White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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